Twelve Things I Learned My First Week As A Published Author

1. People you never expected to contact you will do so with kindness and enthusiasm, and sometimes with chocolate. 

2. People you expected to contact you, will not.

3. Urgent Care Centers will be open in the middle of the night even when your book has launched just in case your 21-year-old cuts his finger on a broken glass at 1 am.

4. Photos will pour in from all over the country with sightings of the novel you wrote. Sometimes you won’t even know the people who snapped and sent the photo. 

5. Someone will criticize your story and then say she read it in one day because she couldn’t put it down, making your head spin. 

6. You will check Amazon rankings even though everyone has said the numbers don’t matter.

7. Amazon rankings will delight and/or destroy you (sometimes in the same hour) even though everyone has said that the numbers don’t matter. 

8. Washing machines will leak. Because they can. 

9. Sleep will elude you, except in the middle of the day.

10. Speaking to a group of high school creative writing students (daughter included) will be the highlight of the week. 

11. You will receive many teacup gifts, and hope that your publisher puts jewelry on your next book cover (fingers crossed). Or a tropical island. 

12. You will realize that this is the best job for you, just like you imagined. 

Best book launch napkin ever!

Best launch party napkin ever!

27 thoughts on “Twelve Things I Learned My First Week As A Published Author

  1. Love it, Amy! All so, so true. (And where can I get those napkins?! Yes, please!)

    Here’s to another week of wonder and joy–and without leaky washing machines and cut fingers!!


  2. As always some funny, insightful stuff. Book hasn’t arrived yet and have a couple of library books I’ve got to get through first, but can’t wait to read it! And love the napkins!


  3. I think the jewel-covered woman lounging on a tropical island beach idea is perfect for your next book. Even if it’s about a mass-murder that takes place in Alaska 🙂
    Congrats to you on a whirlwind, roller-coaster week!


  4. Thank you for another laugh out loud moment. Not that I couldn’t have made one up myself, but your funny post kept me from having to work at it.

    I’m with you. Tropical island and jewelry. Along with dark chocolate that you eat before you go so it doesn’t melt.


  5. I love it! I’m so glad you’ve had the chance to learn twelve nifty new things about writing. And I want to have a reason someday to have napkins like those. ; )


  6. Loved this, Amy. And the jewelry idea is great – my book would only garner buckets of water. I learned in my first few weeks as an author that Amazon is not the place to look for how the book is doing. Not that I don’t check, but definitely check it less in my second week out. Ask your agent to ask your editor what the sales for the first week looked like. Bookscan is not even close. S&S has an author portal that allows me to track sales. I don’t know if St. Martin’s has the same. It’s a great tool to ease the worried writer’s mind. I’m certain you’re doing amazing!


  7. Oh, Amy, your book arrived right away and I read it within two days–SUCH a great read! I loved every word! And your post here made me laugh, because of course we all expect to feel like “authors” after our books come out, and the real truth is that we still have to carry on being wives, mothers, friends, daughters, and house slaves. I hope you can feel my hug all the way from Massachusetts! I’m with you, girlfriend!


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